HOF OFTEN WE IGNORE CHILD ABUSE AND CINDERELLA EFFECT ?

The issue of abuse is present within all societies and it targets, as always, the most vulnerable categories: children, women, old people and animals . The abuse is a real thing with names and destinies, it is not the fact of some dark statistic.

I heard the song lately Luka and, maybe for the first time, I heard the words behind the great music. It hit me totally that actually Susanne Vega wrote the song based on her own trauma from childhood with her stepfather. That inspired me to think of how many children live the same story of Luka from the second floor, not being heard or being simply silenced in pain. Those children are out there, fighting to survive , to live in the shadow of their fears, trying to communicate with us, in between, hoping we will see them, so invisible.

The child abuse is a terrible violence against child wellbeing and whoever witnessed this or experienced him/herself will confirm that all those Lukas from the second floor are ruined by some sadists while society was too noisy to notice that.

I followed the stories about the abused children and you wouldn’t believe how often is one child abused within the family that is seen respected and cherished, from the side of our system. Who are these people who misuse own children and for which sake ? The scary data shows me that mostly abuse cases are done by the step parents and there we come to the story of evil stepmother or stepfather. I don’t know how this crime is possible and how any adult person can harm innocent child intentionally but it happens .. and you just don’t argue anymore.

Early, I heard that child can be happy as long as there is no step moms or step dads, like it is expected that those new parents or replaced parents commit the violence. This is assault on all lovely step parents that are even more than DNA parents but it is still such a big rate of children being abused by stepparents. The stepfamilies are the risky environments where this kind of violence is easy to be seen or committed. Why? Because many new stepmothers or stepfathers come out to be emotionally deviated and with own problems that project usually on the step children or see them as competition to their own children.

According to statistic, every divorced person in the USA remarry within 10 years which means that many kids are predestinated to have stepparents. This means the possibility is big that children will be somehow abused since not all new stepparents are willing to bond the family connections with partner “old children” which opens the playroom for mistreatment of children to be 40 times more likely as in the biological family.

Cinderella effect is not some imaginary scenario from psychological books but the reality of the world we live in. There are kids who suffer daily from fake stepparents and who pay for not being biologically linked to them. Some are under mental terror and some are physically misused. The both are equally bad and dangerous for the mind of the innocent child. That child will be grown up that doubt in all and is never settled in peace. Those minds have been filled with fears, trauma, anger, frustration and they can do anything about it. Big, bad people made them being so. Some so called parents or the people that should have been parents to them.

In one research study from 2023, it was reported that 210,746 children have been abused by their stepmothers and 132,363 have been abused by their stepfathers. This is a significant number that allows us to question the future of those victims. This is a serious crime in all developed countries and one that is leading is USA .

The children that have been abused in childhood are transforming in grown up person with low self esteem and self respect . They accept that they aren’t loved or they shouldn’t be loved so it it continued as the basic problem in the prospective relationships. It is easy for them to be further abused and mistreated as the result of wrong basic foundations. The first love and acknowledgement is the one that is formed in the childhood in the healthy family. If the children experience only abuse , that is going on the next level, with the partners later. The circle of abuse never stops.

This is why we must jump as the observers and react if we witness the abuse or any kind of mistreatment of children. Anyone can be Luka from the second floor. Anyone, anywhere. Nobody is safe. But, there is a hope that we can spread awareness , concern and education. If some new stepparents are not informed how to build relationships with their step kids, there are many possibilities that help them overcome any risk of harming child , intentionally or non-intentionally.

If there are any ongoing issues, there are counseling opportunities for targeted children. You must help even if you are not sure you can. Maybe you are the only one who sees some Luka and you even don’t hear that it’s not your business anyway. It’s your right and your duty to help. You might be the only one that Luka has .

Stop child abuse !