WHY KIDS NOWADAYS ARE SO ANGRY?

I think often about some social issue that are influencing our daily thoughts and mood. It is not always negative but somehow I always come back to the question about the future generations. Why? Because the children we do have now, around us, don’t promise the bright perspective .

Have you ever watched the horror movie “Children of the corn”, made by Stephen King ? The narration starts with small American town where children are killing adults in the bizarre rituals. Mr. King has a great imagination but our reality is not better than the horror setting of this movie from 1984. The children nowadays are not compassionate, they are pretty much spoiled and even aggressive when their spoiled action doesn’t attract the expected reaction. But, these children aren’t responsible for the way they are because they have been designed to be like that, they have been created by all of us, more or less.

Just to make it clear, I am zero parent so my opinion is just based on observation and not on personal and empirical approach. I can only witness the circle of children I know and have contact with, being limited by not spending 24/7 with them. It could be superficial or not enough professional to judge the book just by cover… or by random experiences now and then… but I am somehow overwhelmed by number of parents that shared with me their feelings. You wouldn’t believe me, some of them are even afraid of their own children.

How would you explain it? Many psychologists have the same disputes and dilemmas about this phenomenon. Where did those good, gold kids vanish ? Why we miss them so much? Who replace them ? Those questions might be accurate but let’s say that we don’t have any aliens abducted our normal kids and replaced them with odd samples. It would be scary movie scenario but it is still not realistic at all. There is a concrete and rational reason why the children are the way they are and it is linked to us, afterwards.

You see the child that is angry, troublemaking oriented or simply loud and frustrated. The other side, usually parent or grandparent, is a confused and tired person who doesn’t have really desire to discuss or win the discussion. It is not even win-win process. It is a lost battle even at the beginning. The child feels insecure adult who is on the edge of patience. The child knows how to use it, believing that this method ensures the temporary victory, prevents the future conflicts and save the time for something else. However, we can’t blame that child for reacting like that since that young person doesn’t have much space and experience for another model of behavior. They are adapting themselves to the situation, not really knowing how is in adult mind. Adults forget how is being a child , lost in blindness of growing up genesis.

The main and triggering topic is : why our children are so aggressive ? You can find the key answers in the reality of the world that is shaped according to the wrong patterns of social media. Being a grown up person that knows how the world worked out before digital media, I can confirm that social media infection is without zero patient. Over the night, it took over the known and unknown dimension of life and offered only comparative parameters. You know you are good even if you don’t have any like from artificial universe of algorithms but does your children know that? I am afraid, not. You child is the slave of the magic box. His or her value is created by likes or absence of likes. Your child is judged by approval or disapproval of those irrelevant numbers on Internet . No matter how this sounds crazy , it is true. The children nowadays are unhappy because they are constantly under the pressure to be someone, somewhere and to do something. They forget what is just to be … happy and relaxed. Their life is a big performance and if they don’t play well, they will be displayed. That is the first source of frustration, angst and silent aggression.

The second but not less important is a feeling that many children have is that they are not valued enough. The grown up family members have no time to hear them, even if they are voiceless . They are stuck in their own existential problems so they don’t manage to make a time to consider if child does need a support and in which direction. This doesn’t mean that those children aren’t loved but they are usually neglected in being treated as humans who need to be spoken to, asked about troubles or heard what bothers them. It is not just small talk by the supper. It is more than that, it is conversation with the purpose to understand and not to instruct.

The child must learn to separate anger from underlying emotions like stress, pain, fear , sadness and worry. The young person is usually confused by the emotions and learnt to ignore many of those feelings as wrong. It is nothing wrong being hurt by someone behavior or being sad because of someone or something. It is ok to not be ok but it is not ok to hurt intentionally others. This is the main point in keeping children on the green zone of mental health. You need to keep them talking about their feelings and to educate them to recognize each of them as well as the indicators. You need to make the atmosphere of trust and support . Being a good parent has never been an easy task but it is possible to build a relationship worth of hope that your child won’t be one of those afraid or anxious adults one day. That your child won’t be a future killer or sociopath that has never experienced love and care. That your child won’t be just a number in the world full of formulas.

You can change it now …. You have time!