EXPECTATIONS, RESOLUTIONS REALISTIC AND JANUARY BLUES

There is nothing more beautiful that sliding into the Christmas season and the glorification of the December. Everything seems so bright, positive and hopeful, even the cold weather and the warm clothes we have on. It is simply in the air, the great energy, good expectations and optimistic perspective on all what is going on, because the Christmas and December cant be wrong or bad, at all. The low mood is not allowed or not accepted, so the end of the year is actually the time when we closing all our chapters and make the resume of what we have done and how. The majority of people do it very intentionally and very well, letting themselves enjoying the freedom of Christmas season, the warmth of thoughts, the scent of baked apples and mulled wine, the cozy atmosphere and the shopping appetite. It is like some kind of relax, after the long and challenging year, something we deserve it and must have it. Unfortunately, after such a firework of our amazing vibes and celebration of switching one year into another, the reality of January and the new beginning could be harsh for many and the tough challenge for mental health.

Are you familiar with the state of January blues ? I am sure you know what is SAD or Seasonal Affective disorder which is usually linked to the depression caused by shortened daylight and above all, the lack of sunlight. According to the scientists, around 21% of the population is fighting with some kind of SAD but winter blues or January blues are situational and emotional addressed while the SAD is also physical based. Some experts for psychical disorders take it very realistic the problem of January blues and define it as a real medical condition. This depression is coming after the boom of Christmas and seasonal holidays so American therapist like to call it Holiday blues. It starts with the Blue Monday ( this year it will be on January,16th ) and takes more weeks, or if we are precise, almost the whole month of January:“It is calculated using a series of factors in a (not particularly scientific) mathematical formula. The factors are: the weather, debt level (specifically, the difference between debt and our ability to pay), the amount of time since Christmas, time since failing our New Year’s resolutions, low motivational levels and the feeling of a need to take charge of the situation.” It starts very simply, after the brilliant festivity chain of happiness and back to normal life and implementation of everything we have for. That is the main issue in this story because setting the goals is one thing and working on them and writing your own book of 365 pages is another thing and more serious.

Why is this happening ? We push too much pressure on us and our expectations. We are so motivated in December when we are closing our life invoices that we promise ourselves the dimensions that are not meant for us, at least, not meant to be reached with one step. It is nothing wrong to dream big and to make your visions be proud of you. That is ok and it should be done as long as it doesn’t cause you mental obstacles and depression. I think it is more productive to see realistic the year behind us and to not make dramatical expectations from the New Year. That is just one day in between and not the opening of underworld or Doomsday. It is your new chance to be happier but you can restart all each new day, no need for big and cruel New Year Resolutions. Remember my words, your wishes do not know what is possible or not, they are given to you to be fulfilled and you do not need New Year for it, you need your new attitude, mental state and approach and not just some date in calendar. You can do it better my friend from other side of the reading point and I will encourage you.

January is not here to be against you and to ruin your plans. No, it is your assistant on the road of amazing achievements but you need to be also cooperative and to accept January as it is. It cant be seen as December because it will never be with aura of Christmas month but it has to be seen and loved as the month of refreshing, relaxing and healing. Have you ever consider to review and celebrate your all achievements from the previous year instead of projecting new thousands of exhausting expectations from the New Year ? That all will happen but you need to embrace the weakest parts of yourself and to heal with them. If you feel low, it is ok to cry because the melancholic emotions clean the state and let the space for healing energy. If you feel under constant pressure, it is ok to analyze the goals that produce it and to ask yourself do they bring you good or bad feelings and if that is worth of your blues. At the end of the day, you can fulfil all of your wishes and goals if you make step by step and once in a time, obtaining small pleasures but constant. The persistence is the force that open all doors and not just the obsession of collecting results, causing illness or the deviation. The happiness is a journey and not the goal itself. You need to teach yourself to enjoy the journey and all what is ongoing and not just to be focused on the final target. When we have our eyes only on the aim, we lose the ability to make free room for the games in between, skills to resign our life without being lost with the first storm. You have to stop to be too hard to yourself but gentle and tolerant for all moods because all of them are YOU. It is not trendy to not have all perfect NEW YEAR resolutions but if you are sick or depressive, the society wont nurture you but you have to nurture yourself and make you back on the road. So, don’t worry if your goals are socially approved or not, how they are shaped and with which deadline. This is your book and you are the only creator who knows what is necessary to be written and when.

Dont try to jump in the train that is not yours. You have your own time and you just need to learn to dance and to play because only then you are a creative child that knows how to build stable castles. January or any other months are just your assistants and not your executors. Learn to relax, enjoy, celebrate the small things in the large world. It is the real success, it is the ticket against the daily madness.