LETS REFRAME OUR LIFE 

“Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you will start having positive results.”

-Willie Nelson

 

I wake up this morning with a purpose to share my article about popular psychology and life coaching. It is not about me being any expert of that kind or mental miracle. Simply , I see a big need nowadays, for a ray of positivity in the world full of negativity, where only positive person is one with Covid19.

Have you ever wondered yourself how the negativity comes and occupies your life, with no mercy? It comes slowly, silently and then, it is there, overtaking your peace, happiness and healthy mind. Forget about psychological differences and people being divided into optimists and pessimists, positive or negative oriented. The negative mind will never give you a good life and will never provide you anything else but misery and lunacy, after long journey in the land of overthinking. If someone is not an optimist, it doesn’t mean must be a pessimist. What about a balance? There are realists too if the hectic and hippie energy from optimism doesn’t fit your personality. You don’t need yourself to put immediately in some thinking box, but at the moment when you think negative, you signed the contract with darkness and absence of life joy. You called all troubles of the world to start visiting you and you are even not aware of it.

2020 is a year of challenges, maybe one of the most important years ever, when we are judged by ourselves and when the humanity, common sense and spirituality are  under risk to be devastated by bad vibes all around, dark expectations from the future and lethargic memory on the past. We are still in this year and for now, 2020 seems to be here, with us,  only 2 months. The first 10 months have been hard, boring, difficult, aggressive, sad but not apologising for anything that is happening to us, globally. Wherever we look at, it is a complete mess. From politics, economy to the environment and social relations. People lost their shelters, forgot how to find way out from daily madness into the safe zones. Didn’t we watch enough scary movies with zombies and all you needed to do is to find rescue territory, to be able to survive. Why we don’t do it now, psychologically ? We don’t have any zombies but we do have aggressive news and information, and their toxic is way more dangerous to us than any other natural poison? During just one day, we are bombed with thousand of information that we need to absorb, digest and store. Those information come from different sources but they have the same purpose, to  attack your tranquility. The reporting and journalism is a joke today so all what we have is a tabloid gossip that is getting more and more vulgar, with absence of any logical approach. The media and social media are like a labyrinth of horror and it is lurking on your mind, to tempt it and to overcome it. Only one who has crowd and its brain pattern, there is a one who can set the rules and control. Negativity in our wold is programmed, designed and created with a goal, to make people lethargic, depressive and negative. Those attributes are enough that many of people lose will for a real life, that they behave like bodies without soul. Such people are ideal objects of manipulation and injection of regulations and decisions. They arent data controllers any more, they are data receivers. Negative people aren’t constructive but self-destructive and easy to be opinionated because they don’t have stamina, boldness and feeling for fight anymore. They surrender before they have been even really attacked.

Now when we know what is a root of control and how negativity is made and which with purpose is all orchestrated, we need to focus on all mechanism against it, at least again in our micro universe, the things we control and impact. We need to learn how to refrain our life and to make our life expectations great again. I know it is not easy but all what is easy is never long-term quality and we need to learn how to keep these methods all life long, and to adopt it as a part of your healthy living habits:”It’s like a needle in a groove,” says Guy Winch, Ph.D., psychologist and author of Emotional First Aid: Practical Strategies for Treating Failure, Rejection, Guilt and Other Everyday Psychological Injuries. “As the groove gets deeper and deeper, the needle has a harder time getting out of the groove.” What’s more, rumination can actually make you more angry or upset than you were originally, because the issue becomes magnified in your mind.”

His book is actually a good and practical wake up call for saving ourselves. I like how he is developing techniques for addressing the overthinking that goes into negative thinking and compares our mind with grocery store and you need to pick up healthy things for you. Make sure you know what is healthy and good for you so you can escape the madness of your own negative voices in the mind.  He suggests to think about favourite book or the book that you will read or to listen relaxing  music each time your mind is playing dirty with you. It doesn’t need to be long or often but it must be a rule for you, your self-defence mode against negativism.

Rumination is easy to be picked up by company and social environment. This means, you need to take care who is around your first circle.  If there are people who are dwelling on negative thoughts, you know what is your first Job, to clean the environment and don’t let them pollute you. It doesn’t matter if they are your close family or friends, you have right to say NO to anyone who drags you down. You have only one life and if you know what and how to deal with your time, it is enough. Do it right.

There are such situations that we are overwhelmed with negative thoughts running in our head, without any chance that we get rid of them. They are like soldiers who battle their fields and we are like silent observers and witnesses of the crime. But, hey, the good thing is that it is just a virtual game and you are still a king. You can write your bad  thoughts on the paper and then you can burn your paper. The thoughts are eliminated or, at least, they lost their meaning for your in a way that they can attack your life.  Do not forget to get a cup of tea, because it helps a lot with calming you down and enabling you free space for new ideas to come.

The problem with difficult thoughts and overthinking is that we are one who project the troubles, even they arent there. We get a bit of negative wind and that is enough that we dwell on it, expecting the terrible storm. The fact is that storms clean and make a place for exciting and unknown things. I know that theory sounds good but the practice proves it wrong. I know that is not easy to be happy when you are sick, without job or alone. Remember my words, everything could be healed and solved only if your own mind is playing with you and not against you.

I think of one old lady I met in Serbia. She was to doctor to check herself and the doctor said her that she wont have much of life since she is dying. The last stage of terminal cancer. Maybe month or two. Even the highest medical board confirmed  the sad news. The cute, little lady in her 70s didn’t care much about it. She had told them she didn’t  believe it, she didn’t have time to die since she got her grandchildren and also had book to write. Plans against time. However, she is still alive. Maybe is now in her late 80s. Cancer is nowhere, she is a wonder of powerful mind and spirit and I will never forget that story. If life shows you one  reason for crying and giving up, you should show 1001 reason to smile and never surrender.

The problem is that we depend too much on news and online information and we take the feedback without no restriction. Our online time is not limited but our life on the Earth is limited. Isn’t that ironical ? Try not to pollute so much your brain with trash. Instead of being addicted on digital life, be there for a real life. Go outside and enjoy the nature, read book while you are drinking a good tea and don’t allow the negative people to burry you in their own darkness. No tress-passing.

The life is a beautiful and the next year is slowly coming. Be sure that you are prepared to take  only good lessons from this one and to pass it on the next one, allowing yourself right to be happy again, smiled again and strong again.

It’s time that we make ourselves happy again.