ALL RULES OF STRESS: BEING A MASTER OF STRESS AND NOT ITS SLAVE

STRESS HAS NO CHANCE IN YOUR LIFE

“Give your stress wings and let it fly away.”

-Terri Guillements

 

I know that you live constantly with stress. Everyone does and many die not learning how to overcome stress. It is a modern disease, the follower of the advanced life and progressed societies, the child of the time that is playing with us. It seems that the whole Planet is gravitating towards stress, like it is an oxygen. We wake up with stress, we work with stress, we love with stress and we even sleep with stress. There is no life without stress and there is no stress without life. It is a symbiosis but could we make this symbiosis to work for us instead against us?

There are so many tips how to overcome stress or how to simply cope successfully with stress. I do not want any of those tips because they are generally patterned, based on the causer of the stress and not made to apply on every single being. I know people who could go for stress management seminars and still be stressed to the maximum. They can learn the formula about coping with stress but they do not find their own module to stay in. They lose the motivation very fast and they stuck even deeper as ever before. On the other side, there are persons who are closed to any kind of guru magic that could possibly save their souls and nerves. Somehow I think that they think they are above the ordinary recipes for global stress.  With no doubt, stress is the main problem of our societies and nobody really know how to kill it. My question now is : why we should try to kill it and why we should not try to cultivate it and adapt to our daily needs?

One of the main causer of the stress is the situation, in private or professional life, that is controlling us and directing us there where we do not want really to go.  It comes usually from the lot of accumulated obligations, things to be done and people to be served, no matter if we care about them or not. Every obligation itself is a bad and it doesn’t help if it is connected with family, friends or even your favourite job. If it is an obligation, you need to make a surgery and turn it into the pleasure or, at least, into the interesting moment.  What I am actually talking about ?  Let’s start analysing our jobs, the source of our money income.  Majority of people do not work what they would like to work and their only joy about the job they do is a day when the salary is paid.  This means, once a month or twice a month or, like in the USA, every week on Friday, you may think you are happy. If we add to this statistics the public and individual holidays, the life could be survived, would think many.  Is that really life if you live for moments between working days ? No, it is not. It is a survival logic, the burden of the civilisation and fact that only 4% of people manage to work what they love.  In that constellation, you are under stress because you don’t work what you like, you have a boss who is not a kind person and the colleagues are selfish and unfriendly.  The  normal outcome is stress, the big amount of stress that is slowly ruining also your private life and a bit of harmony you hold on within your soul. How could anyone give you some tips and think it will help you to overcome the shadow of the life it has trapped you with your own approval? Unfortunately,  there is no tip that can solve your life settings in one moment but luckily, there is a mind driver that could help you to set up the house on the completely new foundations. Just think of some places where the homes are so built to be challenged by the worst tornado.  You need such a house and you will chase away any tornado that comes to you.

I want to make it clear that I am not any super life coach and I also do not have intentions to be.  My life coaching is shaped by my own perspective, experiences and soul storms. I do not offer the paradise with my own thoughts but I do offer to way out the hell you put yourself in.

The worst kind of stress is one we think we can’t remove because it is meant to be permanent. You have a job that doesn’t make you happy and you have the relations that do not reply to your needs. The first excuse is that you think you can find a better job so you even don’t search for it. Why would you? You are primordial learnt that it could be always worse. Have you also heard that it could be always better ? That energy which is invested in fighting the stress attack could be realised into using stress as adrenaline booster for seeking new chances.  It is ok to work something you don’t like but it is not your curse and you are damned to stay there like the last soul. You can tell yourself that you will work  that unhappy job as long as you don’t find the better one and you will be opened for all opportunities. You can praise yourself because you are a professional, good at job you don’t have any passion about and the future company will be happy to have you as such kind of person. Remember my words, the global labour market is poor with professionals, you must find a way through the mist, to let yourself finally shining as you deserve.  The work is about getting money but also about getting a recognition that you are a professional worth of worshipping.

What about private life? I would say that the rules are the same. You shouldn’t be there where you aren’t happy per default.  There is no guarantee that one relationship or marriage will be perfect and that children will be nice and loving. It could be all opposite but it is not the end of the world. You arent the prisoner of the people or tradition, you are your own master. You could chose to say NO to anyone who is not good or not good enough for you. I don’t say that some people havent been good for you at certain time but it is changed and dwelling on pathetic memories wont make you forward but back. If you stay there where you don’t belong, your stress will be giving you strikes every now and then, not letting you in peace. Think about it. Maybe that stress is not your enemy as you think but your revolutionary friend who is willing to help you, to remind you that you need to stand up for yourself and play the chess game you started. It is totally right to cancel the commitment that doesn’t fulfil you, to say no to the energetic vampires around you,  to search for a better job or even better life. It is simply ok because you are free person and you deserve to be happy, actually, you must be happy. Everything else is deviation and must be seen as such.

When we see life in that way, we will learn how to recognise the stress as the voice of our hidden selves, the part of us that is afraid to start revolution for himself/herself. We rather accuse stress for this or that, for all difficult things we face with and all negative people we deal with. It is not about stress but about us. We don’t need to fight the stress because it teaches us how to help ourselves but to fight the curcumstances that have brought us up in such moods.

Your boss can’t cause you stress because you the the one who can control the level of stress and who can allow stress at all. Tell yourself that everything will be fine at the end of the day and if it is not fine, it is still not the end. All you can repair and fix but not your health once when it is broken. Take it as a treasure because it is very fragile inn vile world.  Give more constructive energy into your life and close the channels of destructive thoughts and overthinking. It will lead you to the bridge and you can easily jump if you remain on the same route for the rest of your life.

The life is not perfect and it shouldn’t be either. It would be boring without ups and downs, the miracles in between that give us wings to fly, roots to stay and courage to change what we don’t want or don’t like. Never be afraid to seek for a cure happiness because it is a journey and the stress could be used as a perfect engine for your long travel ahead. Be smart, make a companionship with your own stress and you will be there where is the right place for you.

3 thoughts on “ALL RULES OF STRESS: BEING A MASTER OF STRESS AND NOT ITS SLAVE

  1. What a positive article, Sarah !

    Yes, I concur with you in that stress is, sadly, a concomitant of this modern life and modern society ! The only way out is, as you so well said, to live with it and to adopt it as part of one’s quotidian life ! Only then will it be more tolerable and more palatable !

    A good piece of advice, in addition to everything Sarah has included, is to lower one’s expectations, as it is these expectations that add to our disappointments, and hence our stress !

    Thank you, Sarah, for both the optimism and your excellent writing !

    Like

  2. What a positive article, Sarah !

    Yes, I concur with you in that stress is, sadly, a concomitant of this modern life and modern society ! The only way out is, as you so well said, to live with it and to adopt it as part of one’s quotidian life ! Only then will it be more tolerable and more palatable !

    A good piece of advice, in addition to everything Sarah has included, is to lower one’s expectations, as it is these expectations that add to our disappointments, and hence our stress !

    Thank you, Sarah, for both the optimism and your excellent writing !

    Like

  3. Sarah’s poignant and invaluable article reminded me of the Grecian author Nikos Kazantzakis (1883-1957) and his epitaph: ‘Δεν ελπίζω τίποτα. Δε φοβούμαι τίποτα. Είμαι λέφτερος…’ (i.e. I hope for nothing. I fear nothing. I am free…)

    Like

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About Sarahowlgirl1982

I am a master of Political Sciences, with special focus on Security Studies, Islamic Counter Terrorism and Weapons of Mass Destruction. I enjoy discovering and commenting things which are " in the air" but still not spoken.I also do like science writing and planing to move myself into the pure science journalism !